The Great Life

tell me now how am I supposed to feel
cause you know me so well

tell me again how it would end in heartbreak
and you would be my worst nightmare
but I’ll take your heart out and leave it on the floor
wrapped your insides around your throat and hope
your last words will be my name

tell me now how am I supposed to feel
cause you know me so well

you’d my best nightmare, i swear.

trying my best at self control
but these feelings are swirling and having an affect on my brain
like alcohol, I want to let every word flood out of my mouth.
because I know, you could just be another bad dream.

been losing sight and losing track of all my dreams
pulling at the strings I attached to them, but gravity is working against me
starting to let go of hope,its just a word.

searching for some reason to stay
but all i’m given are reasons to run away
get me off this planet for awhile,
I want to believe there is something more for me.

I’ve been told, we are nothing more than chemicals
and I’ve never really felt anything
but I could have sworn I felt the blood dripping down my spine
that day you said goodbye for the last time.

searching for some reason to stay
but all i’m given are reasons to run away
get me off this planet for awhile,
I want to believe there is something more for me.


It’s hard to stay in touch, when you act like I’m buried underneath the earth
Here I am digging my way out and facing my down demons.
But I guess I’m still nothing.

you’ll be glad to know that no one misses you around here.

3 nights in a row going out with my best friends can’t beat it. I’d just like to thank you, without you, this wouldn’t be possible.

I could’ve never seen my life changing this way ever, thank you.

i hate valentines day.
i hate the idea of it.
i believe you should be kind and thankful for your loved ones not just on one specified day a year, but whenever you feel like it.
we can disagree on valentines day, but i would rather take someone i love or care about on a date and show them how much they mean to me on just a normal day.

but i was thinking about caving the other day.
about possibly doing something sweet for someone, but i think i’ll just keep it locked away in my head a little longer.
because even though we are nothing, i’d like to keep the idea alive for awhile before I let it die.

I’ve lost it all
running towards an ending I had in my sights
but my minds playing tricks on me again.
I should speak up, send my voice out into the night
and hope you finally hear me.
because it’s been too long since I’ve seen you last.
and it’s been so long since I felt that last.
I never thought it would be like this,
I never thought I’d let myself get like this.
but here I am, alone in my room again,
hiding behind words.

I know what you were hoping for, I saw it in your eyes.
That look of distance, it’s always been clear.
but I wish that you could see, the power this hand holds.
Strong enough to carry your weight, strong enough to stop the world.
But fear and insecurity wrap around your mind,
I could never be the one you love, I could never be that one.

welp wrote another song…about best friends and drinking.

I’ve missed this.

so I’m sitting here getting all this stuff done for the next couple weeks. Looking at how much money I’ll be making specifically. $12 an hour really isn’t that much, I mean it’s more than I’ve ever gotten. The most I’ve gotten paid hourly is $7.50 + commission. And looking at it now, that’s chump change compared to what I’ll be making. But I don’t know what I’ll do with all this extra cash. I’m so used to living week to week off my checks that for the first time EVER, I’ll be able to start saving some money. I’ll be able to travel on the weekends to see friends. I’ll be able to go to fests. I’ll be able to buy all the vinyl I’ve been holding myself back from buying for the past 6 months. I’ll finally have more than just jeans and band tee’s in my closet. I’ll be able to afford this apartment we’re getting in May. I can finally finish tattoos I want to get. I know this is probably dumb to most of you, but I don’t care. I’ve been working pretty hard to get a job like this and finally I’ve got it. No more kitchen work, no more part time, no more bull shit.

Looks like things are finally turning around. 4 months ago, I would have never believed this. I would never believe that I’d be this happy alone. But here I am, close friends, making music, making money and about to live somewhere that I know will be the best time.

you have reached new low, even for scum like you.
destroying the ones you love never meant so much to me before.
you can act like it means the world to you, but I see right through.
you don’t deserve someone like that, you don’t deserve anyone at all.

wake up, wake up
your life is such a mess and all your second chances have run out.

this reality check will be too much to bare.